For I Have Sinned
by lanaslipscar
Summary: Emma Swan spends a night of passion in the mayor's queen-sized bed. A SwanQueen oneshot from Emma's POV.


**A/N: WARNING: This DOES contain smut. Not as graphic as other fanfics I've read, but graphic enough for the M rating. This is a SwanQueen pairing and my first ever Once Upon A Time fanfic. Reviews are highly encouraged. Enjoy the story!**

Her lips are on my skin and I can't think can't breathe can't make a sound Oh God I need you so bad please don't stop don't stop don't stop sweet Jesus this can't be real…

Her dark hair curls around my pale fingers as I hold onto her to try and steady myself. But it's harder to keep myself grounded here on earth when my mind and my body feel as though they've risen to a different plane entirely. Is this heaven? Are the sensations coursing through me caused by angels? Is the face that hovers over me the face of God? If I am dead, I could have asked for no better afterlife than this one, and if I am still alive, please God don't let me die before this is over.

She has me down to my underwear in no time. This is all so new to me, but even someone as inexperienced as myself can tell that she's excited, eager. The way her fingers twisted open the buttons on my shirt and yanked the material free from my pants, the way she almost violently pushed the shirt off my shoulders and yanked it down my arms, the way her hands instantly went to my breasts and rubbed them through my bra…_she_ knows what she's doing, even if I don't.

My breath catches when she presses her lips to my neck. This is the lowest she's gone on my body so far, but I sense that that's going to change soon, and I'm right. She moves to my collarbone next and I utter my first appreciative moan of the evening. Her lips leave a line of fire down my skin as she moves even lower, planting a kiss between my breasts. I want her to stay there, touch me there, draw more moans out of me, but she has other plans. She lifts her head and smiles. Oh I do not like that smile, not one bit. That smile is…evil. When she smiles like that, I know something bad's going to happen.

"Do you remember me telling you, when we first met, that you had no idea what I was capable of?"

Her voice is low and smoldering, full of dark promises and even darker desires. Her brown eyes bore into me, holding me captive. I find I can't look away, like a bird trapped in a snake's hypnotic gaze. What is this oxygen they speak of? She's taken it away from me, the way she's been doing ever since we first met. I didn't let her know it then. I couldn't. I couldn't let her know the effect she had on me, not when we were so publicly at odds with each other. That doesn't matter now. Nothing matters but her.

"I remember," I breathe out, finding air from somewhere. She leans closer, putting her face a mere inches from mine. My heart speeds up.

"You are about to find out _exactly_ what I am capable of," she purrs, and then she presses those red, red lips to mine. My breath catches again as I lose myself in the kiss, lose myself in _her_. My lips respond to hers, opening and closing on her mouth, letting her tongue enter me. I didn't know ecstasy had a taste before tonight.

I raise my hand to put it against her cheek, to stroke her smooth skin with my thumb, but she captures my wrist and pushes my hand away, pinning it against the pillow.

"Uh uh uh," she chides me, pulling away slightly to look at me. She tilts her head in the most adorable way, and the expression on her face is most definitely a smirk.

"I'm afraid we're doing things my way tonight, dear," she whispers, lacing her fingers through mine and forcing my hand deeper into the pillow. She laughs then, softly. She likes the position she's in, the position of power. It suits her.

I decide to play compliant, for now. "I understand," I whisper back. "Do your worst."

It's the wickedest smirk I have ever seen.

"Oh I plan to."

* * *

><p>Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.<p>

I have stolen, coveted, lied, and cheated. But worst of all, Father, I have committed adultery with her in my heart…

…and I am about to commit adultery with her in the flesh.

And Father…I don't give a damn.

* * *

><p>We're both naked now. I was uncomfortable with this at first: I've never taken my clothes off in front of another woman in such an intimate setting before. Well, I guess technically I still haven't: she took them off for me. She was pretty rough about it, I might add. There's a primal side to her that the rest of us only get very tiny glimpses of in everyday life, but that goes supernova in the bedroom. It was like she couldn't get me naked fast enough. I'm vaguely surprised that she didn't tear my clothes to pieces in her efforts to get at my skin.<p>

I was nervous at first, but once she's naked as well, I find myself distracted. Her body is glorious: all smooth, pale skin, toned muscles, and the most beautiful, beautiful curves…oh God, if I touch her now, there's no way I'm not going to hell.

She's released my wrist, so I'm free to explore her body as much as I like. While her lips nibble at my earlobe and jaw, I slide my hands between our bodies and palm her breasts. Her body stiffens for a moment, then she relaxes under my touch. _That's right_, I think. _Let me show you what _I'm _capable of_. I flick my thumbnails over her nipples and they harden after only a few strokes. I hear her breath catch. My own heart is galloping along at a healthy clip. Touching her is such a turn-on. I've fantasized about doing it for months now, and at last I'm getting my wish.

She presses her body closer against mine and her kisses become more forceful. I spread my fingers apart so that I have her nipples between my fore- and middle fingers. I squeeze them gently and she moans again. But then she jerks her head away from me and glares down at me. I still my hands and meet her eyes. The corner of her mouth lifts in half a smile.

"As much as I like what you're doing, dear, I can think of a better place for those hands," she murmurs silkily. I gulp. Now that we're on the brink of actually doing this, I'm nervous again. _I'm not ready for this, I'm not prepared! Oh my God, what do I do?_ But of course I know what to do because it's the same thing I do to myself every night when I'm alone in Mary-Margaret's spare room. I look up at her. She looks down at me. Time freezes and drags on for one infinite second. And then time moves again when she dips her head and kisses me right on the lips, much more gently than all her other kisses. I capture her mouth with my own, and this time its my tongue that enters her mouth, tasting the sweet, warm wetness of her. My anxiety melts away. I want this. I want her. My belly is tight with my desire for her. A line from a pop song suddenly springs into my head.

"If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?" I say, smiling at how absurdly appropriate the lyric is.

She smiles right back, showing perfect white teeth that are in stark contrast with her bright red lips.

"Not at all, dear."

* * *

><p>Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.<p>

I have lusted after another woman. I have fantasized about her. I have seen her in my dreams and I have done unspeakable things to her in those dreams.

Father, I have lain with her as I would lie with a man.

And Father…I don't give a damn.

* * *

><p>The instant I sank my fingers into that hot, wet Nirvana, I knew there was no going back. The way her muscles instinctively tightened around me, squeezing me, made me whimper. She gasped when I pushed deeper, groping her insides with my fingertips. She was so w<em>et<em>. I hadn't been expecting that, hadn't realized how aroused she was. But there it was, physical evidence that she was turned on, same as me.

When her body had become used to my intrusion, she shifted her weight slightly, rising up on her elbows to put some space in between our two bodies. Our eyes met again, and as we watched each other, she very deliberately began undulating her body, thrusting her hips against my fingers in a slow rhythm. Her red lips parted as she began taking quick, panting breaths. As I looked up at her, I decided that I'd never seen anything sexier in all my twenty-eight years. And she was mine.

But I was hers as well. She let me know it when she shifted her weight onto her left elbow, sliding her right hand down, down between my legs, skimming through soft blonde curls before plunging into me without warning. I yelped. She was being rough again. I'd let my guard down after that gentle kiss. She reminded me, in no uncertain terms, how it was going to be.

We moved as one, she thrusting her hips down on my fingers again and again at varying speeds, me bucking my hips upward, craving her fingers deeper inside me. I was so wet for her, her two fingers slid in and out of me with ridiculous ease.

"Add…another," I panted, throwing my head back and groaning.

"Only if you do the same, _dear_," she hissed in reply, slipping a third finger inside me.

I did the same to her at once, moaning as I felt her wetness drip down my middle finger. My eyes rolled back in my head. I was sweating already and short of breath. My heart was pounding and I couldn't stop moaning. She was good at this, damn good. Maybe she'd done this before. Actually, it was very likely that she had: she would use anyone in any way if it got her what she wanted, and what she wanted, she got.

The heat built inside me, that warm, tingly feeling that told me my arousal was building and transforming, becoming something more. My toes curled and I spread my legs wider, crazy about the deep thrusts she was giving me now. Her thumb began to rub circles against my highly-sensitized clit, which made me jump. I almost forgot to keep up my own ministrations. She reminded me of them by growling at me.

"Stay with me," she ground out between clenched teeth, her eyes burning with intensity. Her pupils were really dilated at this point and I hoped that meant that she was close: my arm was starting to get tired. Pushing past that, I increased my speed, touching her clit with my thumb as she'd done with mine. Her body jerked at the touch, a spasm crossing her face briefly. God, she was so wildly, exotically beautiful like this, with her head thrown back, her short dark hair brushing her shoulders, her lips parted in a silent cry of pleasure.

The circles she was pressing against my clit came faster, with increased pressure. It was coming now. _I _was coming. I felt it begin in my core but it spread fast, branching out into my belly and chest, all the way up to my throat and down to my toes, making them curl in ecstasy. I lifted my hips completely off the bed as I cried out, moaning and whimpering and practically crying as my release flooded my entire body. There was no other feeling like this. None at all. I held onto the headboard so tightly as I rode out my climax that I was surprised my knuckle bones didn't snap from the pressure.

When my orgasm finally subsided and I collapsed back onto the bed, breasts heaving with my labored breathing, her lip curled in a satisfied smirk.

"Now you see what I'm capable of," she murmured. She sounded like she was gloating. I nodded and swallowed, blinking back the tears that had risen in my eyes from the force of my orgasm. She pulled her fingers out of me slowly and dragged them up my leg, my hip, the side of my breast. She used her thumb to wipe away the one tear that escaped. Her smile deepened.

"You still owe me something, don't you," she said. It wasn't a question.

I found energy from somewhere. Using all my strength, I heaved her off me and flipped her over onto her back, pinning her to the mattress with my fingers still buried inside her. She grunted when I landed on top of her with all my weight, but I quickly raised myself up on my elbow, as she had done. The look in her eyes was one of pleased surprise.

"Well, well, well," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Look who's in control." She licked her upper lip seductively, her tongue sliding across that tiny scar I'd always wondered about.

Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to have her crying out the way I had. I wanted her to moan my name, repeating it over and over like a prayer. I began to thrust into her again, fast, my thumb pressing into her clit and rubbing it back and forth. She began to squirm, drawing one of her legs up to wrap it around my back. She was wide open to me, and I drove my fingers home with a manic ferocity.

She lasted only a few moments more. She grabbed my shoulders and dug her nails into my skin so hard I cried out again, this time in pain. She was louder. She threw her head back and moaned, one long, unbroken sound. Her muscles contracted and released, contracted and released around my fingers in the most delicious way. What a head rush this was: bringing this powerful and gorgeous woman to climax like this. Her back arched, her muscles tightened, and then, when I became worried that she wasn't taking a breath, she collapsed beneath me, her body going limp. She sucked in a breath, then another. I slowly pulled my fingers out of her and rolled onto my back. My head lolled to the side so that I could look at her in all her post-coital glory.

I saw a light sheen of sweat on her belly and breasts, which rose and fell heavily with her deep breathing. Her hair actually didn't look that bad, surprisingly, fanned out feather-soft on the pillow as it was. Her lips were parted, and did I see a ghost of a smile on them? She was trying mightily to get herself back under control, taking deep, even breaths. Oh I know how much she loved her control. I turned my head to look up at the ceiling, content and at peace with the world. I knew it was just the good sex that made me feel this way. She and I would be back at each other's throats in the morning. But for now, I could forgive her all that. For now, I could forgive her of her sins.

I felt inspired to say something. "You…are...really…_really_ good at that," I panted, resting my hands on my chest. I could feel my heartbeat as it slowly returned to normal.

She didn't respond for a moment, then: "So are you, dear. So are you."

* * *

><p>That was the first night we slept together, the mayor and me. It wasn't to be the last. That queen-sized bed got a lot of action over the next few weeks, as did I. As did she. Enemies by day, lovers by night, that was our odd little arrangement. And you know what? I was okay with it.<p>

_Bless me, Father, for I have sinned…_


End file.
